Dreamy clouds drifting amidst the bright cerulean sky..
Sunday, October 26, 2008 @ 3:40 AM
Is it naive to cling on to what could have been wishful thinking all along?
The foolish belief of me that cant differentiate truth from lies, deceit from honesty, hypocrisy from frankness.. yet there it is standing in front of me.. the stimulator of enchanted delusions.. the source of pseudo migraines.
Much to my dismay, even the feelings of mutuality seemed to have degraded to a level of animosity.. the laughter was gone.. the smiles were gone.. it was gone. Perhaps I should have gone a different way about it.. maybe my route was wrong from the start.. or could it be, that it was non-existent from the very beginning..
It all began in a moment of awkwardness standing face to face, with ankles strung together in a game of entrapment. . upon casting my gaze, i was mesmerized by what i saw and caught in a spell I never imagined possible; where I saw my future in an instant, where I was filled up with drive to accomplish my goals so I could create a better tomorrow for us.
Unfortunately, though the coating bears a rosy surface, beneath lies a myriad of fears and unspoken sorrow. Yet the feelings grow with each passing day, words already overflowing inside, so much that I’m afraid if let out, will sweep everything away unless reciprocated with the appropriate counter current. That much remains to be seen, as the passive reactions of late bode ill for any possible development. All that can be done to salvage the stale remnants is but a facade of false pretense.. until the day.. when we may relish the days of bliss long overdue. Till then, never let our reflections play the part of writhing hearts..
I pray the day may never come where i have to tuck our memories away in a corner,.. to curb the pain.
Oh btw,
I feel older today . . . for some weird reason.