Dreamy clouds drifting amidst the bright cerulean sky..
Tuesday, November 18, 2008 @ 8:13 PM
Breathing only brings in scents of loneliness
After you turned cold, this heartbeat slowly fades into oblivion
I smiled and smiled, but you would never see it anyway
The happiness i sought, was lost in your embrace
As love loses its passion
The happy memories get tucked in a corner
Walking along the crowded street
All i can see are the mesmerizing signs
The memories are unstoppable
I am done feeling your prescence
I am done missing your existence
I just dont want to be disturbed
How wonderful it is to delude oneself
I just only want to be with you for another second
To depend and believe in your embrace
To foolishly wait for you and not ever run away
How good it is to pretend
Yet an ambiguious melody it brings
When one tries to deliberately provoke
A world of torment made for two
Im caught in a trap i made myself
Believing that time will heal all wounds
Im blinded
Im helplessly foolish
For i have long realized
That your love has gone with the wind
Or was it non-existent to begin with
And no matter how much i search for it, i will never find it..
Tuesday, October 28, 2008 @ 2:32 AM
Went down to Priya's house for her Deepavali party today. As i exited the elevator on the 3rd floor of her block, i was unsuspectingly greeted by four flickers of flame pinned atop a swirl of strawberrie halves adorned neatly on a delectably thick round slab of rich cheesy yellow. Upon knowledge of my birthday being celebrated tonight, i knew i could no longer have the heart to materialise my plan to empty all their pockets :X After cutting the cake, we had traditional Indian cuisine for dinner afterwhich we adjourned into priya's room for my motivational bdae speech. A nerve-wrecking present unwrapping ensued which consisted of ten layers (according to shiao an) although i suspect the actual number far exceeds twenty! The long awaited prize at the end of the monotonous horror finally revealed itself to be a wallet from Picard! Thanks so much guys! Though i cant bear to switch my wallet of eight years which was a gift from my dad, i do understand that its rather cui and life requires changes to move on.
Due to unforeseen circumstances & various project deadlines breathing up to our necks, our party had to be cut short as everyone headed home to a head-aching night of CA stress, as wong so smirkingly dubs this week "Hell week". Dont worry guys! Once we get past the bitter these next 2 weeks, we'll head out and taste the sweet yet again! Falter not and keep moving forward, for we will reach the light at the end of the tunnel!
(Soz for the rather hasty post, sleepy lulz, but here ya go mei hui!)
Sunday, October 26, 2008 @ 3:40 AM
Is it naive to cling on to what could have been wishful thinking all along?
The foolish belief of me that cant differentiate truth from lies, deceit from honesty, hypocrisy from frankness.. yet there it is standing in front of me.. the stimulator of enchanted delusions.. the source of pseudo migraines.
Much to my dismay, even the feelings of mutuality seemed to have degraded to a level of animosity.. the laughter was gone.. the smiles were gone.. it was gone. Perhaps I should have gone a different way about it.. maybe my route was wrong from the start.. or could it be, that it was non-existent from the very beginning..
It all began in a moment of awkwardness standing face to face, with ankles strung together in a game of entrapment. . upon casting my gaze, i was mesmerized by what i saw and caught in a spell I never imagined possible; where I saw my future in an instant, where I was filled up with drive to accomplish my goals so I could create a better tomorrow for us.
Unfortunately, though the coating bears a rosy surface, beneath lies a myriad of fears and unspoken sorrow. Yet the feelings grow with each passing day, words already overflowing inside, so much that I’m afraid if let out, will sweep everything away unless reciprocated with the appropriate counter current. That much remains to be seen, as the passive reactions of late bode ill for any possible development. All that can be done to salvage the stale remnants is but a facade of false pretense.. until the day.. when we may relish the days of bliss long overdue. Till then, never let our reflections play the part of writhing hearts..
I pray the day may never come where i have to tuck our memories away in a corner,.. to curb the pain.
Oh btw,
I feel older today . . . for some weird reason.
Monday, October 20, 2008 @ 2:06 AM
Took a stroll in the dead of the night at punggol park awhile back.. the placid atmosphere then resembled an emo sanctuary.. perfect. The humming of crickets resonated throughout the park as the moon cast its lonely image upon the calm lake. I sat at the edge of the shore as i gazed into the wavering reflection of the moon, shifting unsteadily back and forth.. almost like a hypnotist's pendulum. Yet my eyes continued to focus intently, as if willing to be drawn into the lunar spectrum..
Ripples distorted the alluring image into flickers of its wavy self.. diverting my attention instead to the banks below the lakeside restaurant 'Bliss'. Just thinking of the word itself caused my mind to swirl with visions of a romantic night in the park. A candlelit dinner situated by the rim overlooking the lake, having a good time whilst savouring steak & red wine. A walk in the park thereafter, hand in hand with the moonlight guiding our path. Settling in a cosy yet picturesque spot, i ask for eyes to be closed, and don around her neck my token of affection. A kiss on the cheek, and a night of passion ensues..
*Slap*
Unfortunately, reality sets in to stop me from fantasizing further, as i snap out of my utopia to smack a bloody mozzie that had taken advantage of my daze. However, i was soon caught back into the spell of fancy flicker moonie as i began to ponder about not-so-emo matters.
Thoughts, memories and dreams raced through my head, each trying to overtake the other. What i had been, what i am, and what i aspire to be.. When will i finally accomplish the goals i had been so eagerly bent on from when i first started. When will i start bucking up my chinese, when will my health stop being the bane of my life, when will my biz start to reap results, when will i be able to summon enough courage.. to tell her.
Live true to your feelings and regret nothing..
Tuesday, October 7, 2008 @ 3:48 AM
After procrastinating for ages, i finally got down to creating my very own blog. Heck i'm only in the mood to post whenever my brain releases the floodgates of emo juices, so bear with my emo rants ye? Many thanks to ronald for setting up the blogskin and templates!
Muahaha, now that the outlet to my emotional fuses has been wired, let the emo posts flow. . .
10 months.. weathering through dramas and traumas from foundation to semester 2 in the SIM DMS program, many friends i have made, yet the enigma of conflicts and helplessness plagued me far more than my high school days. Despite the seemingly wretched perplexities that caused an issue of ultimatum to my friends, it was through this ordeal that led me to realise that i had been working on a pedestal all the while. Repent i did, and fortitude saw me through. After all's been said and done, i'm glad the commotion is over and we're back together better than ever.
Although unprecedented, steeled is my wavering resolve of battling through a daunting cycle to obtain 'business competency' worthiness in this qualification-hungry world. To even reach what can be considered an achievement though, is still as bleak as Sengkang evolving into the next Orchard road.
And i just have to mention an utterly gross incident that occurred in class today.. there was a sleek & fair looking(inaccurate) china girl wearing spaghetti straps whom was sitting 2 tables front. Plain in our books, we overlooked her for fancier eye candy ahead. Yet as if by instinct, she immediately drew our attention and gazes back by lifting up her 'branches' whilst tying her hair, momentarily exposing a clump of unkempt wavy black bristles soon to be dubbed the "Rainforest of the Amazon". However, just when we thought the horror would end there, the process preposterously repeated itself in rapid succession almost as though an attempt was being made to fan her BO to all corners of the lecture theater; with each flash gaping jaws & widening eight pair of eyes in disbelief. I simply cannot comprehend how any self-respecting girl can even contemplate donning a sleeveless top without shaving their pits. Not to mention, this issue is rife among the majority of females in China whom evidently lack the decency to shave their pits. And as if not shaving it was bad enough, they brazenly flash their bird's nest fern at every possible juncture bellowing "Lo & behold! mines thicker than urs!11@!" Its not as if they're rapunzel and need the magic armpit hair for their prince charming to climb up the tower to save them. The chinese government obviously needs to incorporate a chapter in the civics and moral education textbook for chinese girls to encompass shaving armpits as a virtue to rescue the dilating pupils of the average discerning chinese male.